After everything, how do you want to feel?
Your Final Result: The Test by Peter Anthony
Flirtatious, smart, sophisticated, sexy, reserved, daring, romantic, professional.
Of course you want to experience all of these feelings depending on the moment. What we need to remember is that we live in only a few of these feelings a day (1 to 3) and we have to honor those feelings that are the most important ones to us. Where you spend the most time does NOT always determine how you want to feel about your overall look. In some cases, your job may be the opposite of what you would like to feel.
What I will state over and over again is the importance of learning how to become clear with what you are looking for from your hairdresser. Most professional hair stylists can do many things and have many talents, but what you really need is the stylists who's talents best fit your needs. I remember hearing a survey once that stated, over 75% of woman surveyed would change their stylist if they were given a better idea, I think what they may have meant is that they would consider change if they trusted a new person to execute that idea. Once I start talking about hair to a woman, it is very rare that she will not give me the opportunity to work with her. Our salons were the fastest growing in the US for years because WE taught our staff how to talk to people about what is important to them and focus on how they want to feel after the process was over. I am sure we delivered a bit more than other salons because of communication, not talent, although the art of communication is a talent.
My advice is simple. Ask yourself the questions I have listed and get in touch with what you really want and why you want it.
How do you want to feel when you are done? Not what you want, but how do you want to feel? Now tell the truth. How do you really want to feel when we are done?
What I have discovered is that we are so programmed to say and respond in a politically correct way that we never REALLY get to those hidden desires that scratch at our core constantly. Tell the truth. It will only help you.What are the characteristics that allow you to feel this way?This question is not about hair alone. It is about what characteristics you associate with the feeling you are looking for. These are what are important to you.
Sexy comes in many shapes and sizes for many different tastes. What is sexy to me may not be sexy to you, so what we need to know and what you really need to know is what characteristics are sexy to you. If it is long hair, and you think long hair is sexy, and if you want to feel sexy, then you need long hair to do it.There are several characteristics, so you must list them in order of importance. Once you have isolated the feelings in your perfect order and the characteristics of those feelings, you need to answer this:
- When (if ever) was the last time you felt those feelings? I did not say anything here about the hair. There is a reason, so just tell yourself, when was the last time I felt the feelings I want to feel?
- What were you doing when you felt those feelings? Remember the moment. Get specific, it will really help you.
- Now that you have the moment and the feeling, tell me what your hair was like at that moment. It may or may not be what you were looking for now, but we need to know what it was like at the moment you had the feeling you are looking for.
- Sometimes people are trying to create a feeling and they have never had it. In that case, when was the last time you saw the feeling that you are looking for? (could be school, work, movie does not matter, just be honest) Now what was the persons hair like that was giving you the feeling you want?
- A HARD EXAMPLE: Most of us will never get this deep, and I was quite lucky to ask some great questions that allowed my client to open up. We all do this with our clients because they all share very intimate things with their hair stylists SO this SHOULD NOT BE A SHOCK! Now we are getting close to finding the 'feeling'. If the feeling is attached to a moment, we need to look at that carefully. I worked with a woman who wanted to feel sexy, and after some questions we discovered together that the last time she felt sexy was in college, when she was making love to a boyfriend and he was pulling on her hair (yes a bit intimate BUT that was when she "FELT SEXY" and this is what is important, how she feels), telling her how turned on he got because long hair turned him on. You can imagine how hard that was to let go of that feeling. She never did let go of it but never felt as SEXY as she wanted to, because no matter how long she grew her hair, no one ever said that to her in that way at the right moment again. The challenge is that the man she married loved her other features and her hair was not the thing turning him on, so it was never mentioned quite the same way. Obviously, this was an anchor that the long hair had created for her and she wanted the attention she thought it came with. The challenge is, that any hair stylist who did not find a way to carefully and gently extract that information was always going to be on the outside of the circle. Once I knew the secret, I mentioned to the husband and presto, her hair became the perfect length because he mentioned it to her at the perfect moment. Just really care about finding out what makes people happy and what anchors they associate to the process of getting their hair cut. OH and by the way we gave her an AMAZINGLY SEXY hair style that encouraged being pulled at the right moment.
- Feelings are what is important and we need to get clear with them. We also need to let old ideas go and adopt those ideas in a way that will support our new direction.
Can women wear long hair as they get older? Of course. Can you ever be too blond? Of course, but that does not mean to go darker.
- That just means that you know why it means a lot to you and when you are ready, you will find the right reason to evolve. The hardest challenge any industry faces is trying to sell something no one wants to buy.
- When there is a formula to grow hair it will sell. Woman with curly will always want straight and straight will always envy curly. I envy you all because you are all uniquely beautiful.